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Words: 57852 in 25 pages
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TWO LETTERS AND A DEDICATION 5
INTRODUCTION 17
BREAKING INTO THE WRITING GAME 27
SETTLING THE CORSET PROBLEM OF THIS COUNTRY 39
HOW TO TELL A BUTLER, AND OTHER ETIQUETTE 47
DEFENDING MY SOUP PLATE POSITION 57
HELPING THE GIRLS WITH THEIR INCOME TAXES 69
THE GREATEST DOCUMENT IN AMERICAN LITERATURE 77
PROSPECTUS FOR "THE REMODELED CHEWING GUM CORPORATION" 87
INSIDE STUFF ON THE TOTAL ECLIPSE 99
IT'S TIME SOMEBODY SAID A WORD FOR CALIFORNIA 111
PROMOTING THE OCEANLESS ONE-PIECE SUIT 121
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